So many of you have likely seen the gorgeous circular beach photos on Instagram or floating around on blogs like this one. I’m here to tell you that while is *is* just as beautiful as the photos show, I don’t think the experience is worth it at all. In this Hidden Beach Tour Puerto Vallarta Review I’m going to tell you all of the things that might make you think twice! I’ve listed everything from the most mild to the most dramatic, so keep reading to hear about my shocking experience…
What is the Hidden Beach?
The Hidden Beach or “The Beach of Love” is a secret hideaway within Mexico’s Marietas Islands National Park. It’s nearby to the major city of Puerto Vallarta, making it an attractive day trip option. It’s accessed by boat and then a cave, emerging into a circular hidden beach open to the sky. It’s completely uninhabited by humans. It’s full of migratory birds, small lizards, and abundant sea life that you might be able to see on a trip.
The Price (Hidden Beach Puerto Vallarta Review)
Really, this is the least of the concerns, but it bears mentioning. This was by far the most expensive tour I took in Puerto Vallarta. Most other tours average $40-60, this one cost around $120. Some of the cost is down to it being a national park, sure, but you actually need to buy your ticket to get into the park in addition to your tour. That’s an another $200 pesos, or around $10USD. The cost seems inflated – and wait until you hear about the photo prices!
Almost every tour will include a photographer, or multiple. Unlike everything else in Mexico, for some reason photography costs an absolutely insane amount. I was quoted $90USD for about 30 photos. I still saw some people pay it, so I guess it must work but…I find that insanity. You can hire personal photographers for a couple of hours for that price.
The Hidden Beach Tour Puerto Vallarta Review
Something that I don’t think is highlighted on most tour websites is that the Marietas Islands (and the Hidden Beach) are actually quite far from Puerto Vallarta. It’s an hour each way by speedboat. This is why most Hidden Beach tours include additional activities such as snorkeling or whale watching. Personally, I don’t think snorkeling in Puerto Vallarta is all that great anyways due to visibility, but your mileage may vary. I enjoyed the way there in the early morning, but on the way back the sun was absolutely brutal without sunscreen.
Oh yeah. That’s another thing. They will tell you not to bring sunblock, and not to wear sunblock. They don’t even allow reef safe sunscreen, claiming that some of those are still harmful. This is somewhat ironic given Mexico’s environmental protections are sadly not to the level of many nearby countries (this is according to Mexican people I met working in the environmental sector). So, as a dutiful tourist I left it at home, thinking I might get in trouble with the park people otherwise. Turns out, this is all a complete lie and you will burn for absolutely no reason. Of course, I’m near certain most tourists had ignored the warning anyways (I wish I was one of them). Once we were on the boat they informed us that we could use sunblock on the way there, and on the way back, we just couldn’t put it on AT the Hidden Beach. Boy, wouldn’t that have been nice to know before I fried on the hour ride home…
The Length of Time
This part isn’t hidden (ha ha). But let the reality sink in. You only have about 20 minutes to get into the beach and enjoy yourself. This really means that you only have time to take pictures. No time to try to examine anything, sit on the beach, or explore. My guides in particular were absolutely useless, providing no context for why the islands were protected or anything we should have our eyes out for. They tried after we went, but of course no one had any idea what he was talking about (some fruit thing?) as it hadn’t been pointed out before or during. If you’re going to go and want to learn about the park, I recommend you do it before you go.
The Entrance
So, if you did your research (most of us hadn’t. I’m also guilty here) you would have seen videos of needing to swim/wade through a cave to get to the beach. For some reason, all of us had only seen the mild version. To put it lightly, there’s a big reason they give you helmets. To put it more graphically, hold your breath as you’re completely slammed into the roof of the cave.
Yep, the entrance is worryingly small! Several people actually thought the guides were joking when they pointed to the tiny entrance from the boat. My mouth got cut a bit inside from the unexpected force and some people had little scrapes from the cave ceiling.
Additionally, you have to swim about 100meters to get to the entrance. For me, the water was still pretty cold in mid-March and the current was fairly strong. I’m a pretty strong swimmer, but it was a bit tiring. I’m shocked everyone in our boat was able to do it, to be honest.
The Possibility of Jellyfish
So. Yeah. Turns out there can be thousands of jellyfish in the water. And you won’t find that possibility on any website! This is so insanely avoidable, I just cannot understand why they don’t tell people it could happen. It’s very easy to mitigate, you just wear either a wetsuit or a full coverage bathing suit/leggings. I could have brought them in my backpack as a backup. But since you aren’t told this is a possibility…you don’t bring that with you. Thus, you’re left with either not going to the place you paid $130 to see, or swimming with jellyfish.
I got stung 10 times.
So fun! Apparently, my side of the boat was less infested. The other side had hundreds according to people I talked to afterwards. We probably could have mutinied if we’d all seen that, but I was one of the first ones in, innocent. Having angry red lines all over you makes for great photos. They even sell wet shirts and such at the port, and everyone agreed if they’d known they would have bought some. The guides certainly seemed to know. They were completely covered, of course.
The Unhelpful Guides
I already alluded to the unhelpful guides in other portions. But for some reason I found that the guides for water-based activities in Puerto Vallarta were the most frustrating and unhelpful of any place I’ve been. My tour to Los Arcos was not nearly as dramatic, but did include many unnecessarily frustrating moments. Don’t expect your guides to be anything more than people who take you from point A to point B. And don’t expect them to be forthcoming about issues, such as the jellyfish and the entrance.
In my case, this resulted in my glasses being broken. Nowhere in any description I have found does it advise you or tell you not to wear glasses. I can’t wear contacts, glasses are my option. I’ve been on many adventure tours with glasses. Canyoning in Puerto Rico, caving in water caves in Costa Rica and Tulum, paragliding in Korea…They’ve always taken care of me and my glasses.
They told us “no glasses” right as we arrived at the island. So helpful. They didn’t even offer to store my glasses in their camera dry bags before they hopped into the water and swam off. And remember that rough cave entrance? Yeah the glasses got smashed. Was there any offer to help or even some mild sympathy? Nope!!! They didn’t care at all. So, I DO NOT recommend Vallarta Adventures. Luckily, I always travel with a backup pair of glasses, and this was my first chance to use it.
So, if you’re going to do a tour to the Hidden Beach anyways, I recommend you research even more than I did. I looked at several operators and compared reviews and Vallarta Adventures seemingly had some of the best. And yet. But yeah, the photos are beautiful. I get it if you still want to go, but I hope you have your eyes wide open from this post!
Instead, I recommend you look at my list of Top Things to do in Puerto Vallarta for some alternatives!
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